what am i looking at?

what am i looking at?? often when people look at an image or some form of expression they say.. i don’t get it... what does it mean?.. it’s significance. i was dragged around as a child to museums often yawning and bored bc much of what i saw made no sense at all to me there was no context of understanding at such a young age....

so does this image looking at it..a glass.. outside so what....... but the day i shot it ... it meant a ton to me.. it represented a state i have been in for many months. and hence symbolic for me..

I’ve sort of been isolated bc of a diagnosis that led me into a fight for the past recent months and for some more ahead of me...... i felt singular .. one as i looked out into the public.. i am different. i feel different... I’m changed.. dont they see.. can’t they tell ..or is it only me who knows. sees .. can understand..

I’ve been fortunate.. very fortunate with intense gratitude to be buoyed , cushioned by so many friends.. and family.. who have held me/ lifted me up and prevented me from drowning....(water in the glass.) and me the one singular seed.floating.maintaining......yet solo feeling isolated.... and yet surrounded by .. the living. growing.. the green outside of me..the world.............. but feeling a bit contained, imprisoned... to do what i need to do... my journey inside the containment.... i.e. ... glass....

so as i lay in the chair on a beautiful spring day.. a bit weary.... trying to rest and enjoy the day ahead of me. i turn over to look at my glass. and this is what hits me right in the gut of my soul. camera always nearby.. it’s all i could shoot.. something so close to me.. so right there in my face.. seemingly a big fat nothing... to most..but for me a simplistic visual of how i felt

Captured

life has captured me .. more still than normal... not something asked for.. or that i like at all.. especially with the energy i normally possess... but look at the stillness here.. the beauty.... the solitude.. the dreamy quality.. it brings peace to me.... ease 

i am looking forward to a time in the not too distant future.. when i can get in the car.. get lost.. road trip. places unknown.. everything a surprise around the corner... prefer somewhere west....... have no idea. where to begin.. part and parcel. just that i know i want to do that.. it’s always been a dream of mine. people. landscape..vintage reminders of days gone by.... 

so much to do and see.. my eyes.. my heart.. my soul.. is seeking patience.. for that day that will soon come when i can harness my passions and follow my dreams..

Country Churches Of Jamaica

when i first began shooting i would go to jamaica every few months... it was the place that i found the camera or the camera found me..... and even as i was from a traditional jewish family one of the things i was very taken with, were the small country churches .. the sense of community....especially the ones found on the back roads, almost obscured... unless you knew where to go/look.... some in the blue mountains, there would be people singing, swaying and dancing and hitting the tambourine.. i would join in.......

they are some of my fondest memories... talking to the elder women and men who had lived through so much history.... the younger ones who would clammer around me yelling.. nina .. nina.. nina......... to this day if and when i get near a church with all that singing and camaraderie.. (forget the religious aspect... ) it’s not what I’m talking to or about.. not nearly... but the reverie.. the joy... ...... 

I can actually get that sometimes just from singing and dancing around my living room.... hint hint dj

Lost In The Desert

I look at this photo.. it seems unreal.. but it is exactly as you see it..

i arrived late at nite to some place in the middle of the desert in Morocco..... i had no idea where i was... all i knew is i’d wake up to such majestic landscape like id never seen.

a man name Ali knew i was a photographer and when i woke he told me there was a woman getting water from deep in the sand and to hurry out there... so off i ran with my camera, in bare feet walking briskly across the sand..what a bloody FOOLLLLLL i was!!! you never leave without water and shoes...

i walked and walked and every time i thought i was getting closer she moved further and further away.. what i thought was five minutes took a good half hour or more..

i was so lost in my rapture of seeing her out there all alone appearing out of what seemed like no where..i mean where could she have come from…... i stood watching. shooting.. trying to speak in sign language... and then when it was time to go i turned around and saw nothing but sand as far as the eye can see..... i panicked. which way did i come from??? am i going to be lost? my heart started pounding...

the sand was getting very hot. my feet hurt..i was jumping up and down as i walked to get them cool... i threw something down on the ground and jumped to it every few steps..

slowly i saw something in the distance and there was Ali so far away like a speck of blue in the distance with his turban ... waving for me...yelling Nina.....he said he was just about to start looking for me...

lesson learned..... but a memory so special..... i think about this desert.. the feeling i got from being there... hope one day i can return there... and many other places on my hit list... and have a partner or friend to share in some of these wonderful experiences...the laughter.. the joy... the growth

If I Should Live To Be An Old Lady...

if i should live to be an old lady… i will be the one looking out the window… sitting on the stoop… engaging people… watching the world go by… picking up the energy swirling around me… always have been drawn especially to the elderly with my photography… that person on the corner.. … this lady felt so unnoticed in her anonymity until we shared glances.. and we smiled at each other.. as i continued on my way

Silence No More

A very emotional and powerful day in Washington Square Park today......Millions March... the power and determination to speak up against injustice......it is the good in humanity coming together .. and they did it in force and numbers.....i could feel the synergy right through me.. .. was tremendous....

I’m really fascinated by signage.....and how words soon become slogans.. familiar to time and place...... I’m glad to have gone out again... too often there is momentum and it dies down.. if we want changes.. if we want a society in which there is no shame.....disgrace.....violation of civil and human rights... then we have to have the courage to stand up and speak up..  “white silence = white consent”..........the birds were flying back and forth over the crowd in big formations....... i felt as if they were with us