dreaming .. on the road again

inspired by another mobile home photo today.... i can’t help but to find some of my own from this summer.... i’ve been watching them.. enchanted... covetous even....for that feeling of having a home on wheels...to be with a camera... although many are choosing little houses and trailers these days as a permanent residence

... well its been forever... as a home.... but i think often associated with “well mb they cant afford rent... or a home”...possibly the case for many.. but .. NO i think others were on to something long before it became vogue.... a simpler way... more economical....community spaces..... and for those doing it to take to the road to see this vast country... they been ahead of the rest of us for a long time........... 

not saying i want to live in one..i don’t..... but I’m taking more of a notice and interest of them everywhere.. was i less aware before? all i know is I’m drawn to them.. and i see others drawn to them.. and i wonder if there is some primal call on some level for the basics.. and fluidity that being on the road can bring..... like being on the back of a motorcycle and your hair is blowing back in the breeze.. a sense of freedom.. open road.. who knows where you will end up.....

as i get older.. ... there are some things that rise to the surface.. percolate...... a hit list of things i want to do.. try...places i want to go.... the list is grande of course..... bc the world is so far reaching...and i want to absorb and experience what is possible.. but there is the short list too... and this one is definitely on it

satisfy your thirst

put your head back... get the very last drop....satisfy your thirst ... 

angel in the grass

long ago when i first starting shooting images..... i came across what i thought was an angel in the grass... i remember at that moment the way my heart felt... thumping with excitement all those years ago.... as it does today when i really see an image that speaks to me.....

i came across this by accident after hearing the news from Nice. my stomach in knots from all the senseless killing in the world... trying to wrap my mind around the mental states of the people that choose to use brute force to work out their ideologies, prejudice, some not a fault of their own totally... bc of the lack of health care for those mentally challenged...... i think we are all saddened /hurting inside.. what effects others.. effects us all

so this image today is calming ... just laying in the grass on a spring day.... peace....... we all need some simplicity... no media frenzy.. no anger / hurt/ discourse..... just peace........... words.. actions.. no violence...

blaze a trail

loved this feather.. the trail that follows....... like life... piece of us left behind.. reminders of who we once were.... mb still are.. just a concrete formation of being..... and the trail... the direction from where we came.. or the one where we are going......... i kind of feel like this too..... and it’
s good.. i cant see too far ahead of me... but i know i hope to blaze a trail.... with heart, curiosity, and fortitude.... hope to meet many of you along the way..................

no one puts baby in the corner

when i first look at this photo.. i see the obvious.... the big bold black boxes and the opposing linear black figure......

but when i think about it...sit with it.. and look ..... and feel it... there are so many more layers... isolation...... loneliness.... being placed in the corner.... or the feeling of being put in the corner... or just plain feeling cornered..... not in a physical threatened sense..... but mb just being unseen, unheard....... pushed out of vision...... or frozen........unable to move in one direction or the other.... similar, but clearly different choices... Black box up on one side.. but on the bottom on the other.. (same but different) a decision maybe..

and then of course as my friend reminded me from the movie Dirty Dancing...... “no one puts baby in the corner” and boy does that resonate with me..

how do we say goodbye?

how do we say goodbye...put things in place, mentally and emotionally.......... 

Parents gone..but the house didn’t sell right away and I almost stood there in defiance, sort of keeping me feeling like they were still here... even as i know they were not......

but.. the house sold, tomorrow is closing .... and we (mostly me) had four weeks to empty, go through things.. get an estate sale done, fix anything and get out....... i was ready for this. it’s time. closure is needed... life goes on....and for the most part i have worked hard and with a good attitude and spirit, but also really learning about death, grieving..letting go... frailty ....... but more so about the meaning of life.. a life well- lived.. our lives.. sounds very trite.. it’s true...

it’s not the loss of a house..it’s just a house, or even my parents... it’s looking through years of things... objects. clothing, dinnerware, music, books,photos, letters, art..... things you remember so clearly from babyhood.. through adulthood... it’s like a film screening through the generations...... memories shared... history... that is what is passing..and is so very profound.... you hold on to what you remember, but shared memories are much richer.... because we hold onto different pieces of the story and they complete the picture..

i guess thats one of the reasons i am passionate about photography... to document.. to remind us.. i can go back from when i started to shoot images... to now .. and i can see the history, remember the anectodal histories....my own progression....... 

i feel a bit sad today.. tomorrow is the day. but i am also ready.. the ending of an era... 

i often wonder if some of the belongings, given, thrown away, images , there were 1000’s .. have about twenty boxes to go through.. but some are being thrown out...... will the end up in the flea markets i go to... the same kinds of things i look through and wonder about who they belonged to

i have so so much to be grateful for and I AM and im looking to today, tomorrow... and the future.....a new part of my life that has yet to be lived ..

so i say goodbye house.. parents.. last place of residence.. i will see you in my heart and mind as i already do... and as long as i , my brothers and your grandchildren live.. you will be alive through us....I love you and i hope we make you proud

grandma’s last cookie

Grandma’ s Last Cookie

my grandmother has been gone for atleast 45 years !!! yet here remains entombed her very last cookie........ oatmeal ... in a glass box found on a shelf in her home.

always when you walked into her apartment in NYC there was a plate of oatmeal cookies on the dining room table, for her adoring husband, but more importantly for anyone that happened to stop by and visit.. ( she was always wanting her three sons and grandchildren to come visit- which we often did on weekends..my whole early childhood)

My brother, the forever curator upon cleaning out her space together said to me..." I’m going to save grandmas last cookie"... and we put it in this box.. Brilliant! and here all these years later when I’m at his home i look at it and it brings back so many memories.. and amazes me that it has not disintegrated.. and still remains

we all have so many shared memories... momentos that remind us.. make us feel warm inside..... as we dismantle my parents home i think what i might want to retain.. what to rid.. i am at a stage of life where I’m trying to clean out a bit.. minimize... keeping that which matters to me.. not based just on value.. but meaning...

what kind of items do you have that do that for you?? i have my mothers big elton john style glasses sitting on a book shelf, my dads watch right next to it.. what i wonder are the items of my own my son will feel that way about? saying to himself.... this is my mom.

today is sunday.. always a day that feels different from the rest of the week.. quietude and nesting in the home or yard.. or out exploring or doing anything that separates it from the rest of the week... 

tonight... dinner.. museum..at the museum the wonderful curator that had the vision and foresight to save grandma’s last cookie

New Series... The Vintage Postcard

working on a new series.. "the Vintage postcard"..

for years I’ve collected vintage postcards from the caribbean,..mostly jamaica and haiti.....but other islands..... and there are so many in my tin boxes and on the wall... I’ve often thought about creative ways to use them.. but also to keep them as document....

but then it came to me that it would be great to try to replicate some of my own images into a past time capsule.. bc a lot of the places i go also lend to that type of imagery....
not sure this one cuts it at all.. but it's the direction i want to go